What a strange week it’s been.
First of all at the football match last Saturday the men and ladies who watch the game seemed to be getting very grumpy and were shouting a lot. I tried to ignore it as I was trying to do some colouring in of an Easter bunny, then I heard that they seemed to be shouting: “Scally out!”
“Hang on, ” I thought, “My name is Scally. I wonder if they want me to come out of the place my daddy sits with the other important people called directors and show them my bunny pictures.”
I frowned when I heard some of the words they were shouting as I hadn’t heard them before – well only when I had been at the training ground and Mr Stimson shouts at the players. I got out my W H Smiths schoolboy’s dictionary (£4.99 and a free pencil case,) and looked up one of the words. Strange. “Female genitalia” whatever that was. Grownups are funny.
Anyway my dad stormed away from the stadium that he owns with a very cross face. He was going too fast for me to catch up, and when he got in his car he had obviously forgotten me! I had a bright idea. There were some rocks nearby and I picked up a few and threw them at dad’s car to remind him I wanted a lift. I couldn’t believe it when he seemed to ignore me and drove off very fast, shaking his fist out of the window.
So all week since then he has been stamping around the house being cross, and speaking on the telephone to newspapers, and saying “scumbags” a lot.
Yesterday when it was time for me to write the magazine that the ladies and gentlemen like to read at the game, and wondering if they would like to see my pictures of bunnies, dad came in the room and ripped away the piece of paper I was using. He wrote on it in an angry way, then gave it back. “Publish that for the morons,” he said, “Then they can stick it right up their Rainham Ends.”
I frowned where he had put on the page where his comments go, just the words: “SCREW YOU”.
Grownups are funny…