Turd on a string

Saturday 15 March – Gills 0 -3 Crewe

As we slid inexorably down the table there was a crumb of comfort to be had from a run of fixtures against sides in and around us in the League. Win those, went the logic, and we will be ok. So it’s fair to say that a shambolic 3-0 home defeat in the first of those relegation six-pointers hasn’t exactly calmed the nerves. In fact, the Gills now find themselves staring straight down both barrels of a relegation shotgun (if I can unmercifully mix my metaphors for a moment – and why not, Paul Scally does so with alacrity in his programme notes).

Oh, and speaking of which – I simply can’t type another word without quoting from the Gillingham Chaiman’s latest effort. Yes I know, I know, tedious in the extreme, but I need to pose this question – Is this the first time a Football League Chairman has roundly criticised roadworks on the A1 through the medium of the matchday magazine? Speaking of his return journey from Doncaster Scally was moved to comment `I pulled out of Doncaster last Tuesday evening and, as I drove down the A1, with its miserable roadworks and pathetic 30 mile diversion, I reflected how much effort everyone is putting into the club`. If I was him, I would refuse to deal with the A1 ever again.

Clearly the Gills Chairman was in a bit of a grumpy mood when he penned this missive, hitting out at `the doubters, the negative and the doom and gloom brigade`. In a piece of irony so savage it absolutely wouldn’t appear in an Alanis Morrisette song, our beloved leader went onto to compare the club to a marriage which needs to be worked at (I think we are in separate bedrooms at the moment). Remind me how many times Mr Scally has been married again – is it three or four?

Finally the Chairman declared himself amazed at `just how many people have jumped on the `knock-us` bandwagon. Apparently these people have jumped ship (I’m guessing the bandwagon they jumped on must have been parked on a ship, which they have now jumped off). The stark message to these people from the Gillingham Chairman `We know who you are`. How queer.

Now why, you may be asking, have you just devoted so much time to discussing the byzantine rantings of the Gillingham Chairman and not talking about the game. Well, my answer is simple – I refer you to the scoreline at the top of this report. So maybe I should start by listing the positives to come out of this game.

Ok, here goes:-

Positive number 1) Simeon Jackson’s 15 minute cameo which saw him muster more shots than our tawdry collection of so called strikers have manager in the last umpteen games.

Positive number 2) Errr….. no, sorry, that’s it.

This was a display best summed up by the actions of a gentleman sitting approximately 20 feet to my right in the Rainham End. At one point he spent so long bowed foward, head in hands that we begun to suspect he had actually died and rigor mortis had begun to set in. In the context of this fixture it was a performance that was totally and utterly unforgivable. Mark Stimson had commented pre-match that it was a game we couldn’t afford to lose – but lose we did, and if the manner of the defeat didn’t set alarm bells ringing in the manager’s office I’d be calling out an engineer to mend the alarm.

That it was not going to be our day was neatly summed up as early as the 9th minute, in a moment that even recent Gills defences at their worst would struggle to outdo. The Crewe keeper slipped in making his clearance, and his mis-hit was somehow allowed to trundle through to Tom Pope, with at least three Gillingham players watching it go past as if transfixed, and the visiting dignitary slotted comfortably past Royce, who then stood, arms outstretched and unleashed a tirade which presumably included the words `what` `the` `fuck` `useless` and `bastards`.

It would be nice to report that this incident galvanised the players, but sadly it did not. The first half drifted by with no suggestion that we have a side that is likely to create, nay score, a plethora of chances (one would be a start), which I guess is hardly a surprise from a team that had notched a princely sum of 1 goal in the previous 5 home games (total from open play – none).

Credit to the supporters here – yes that tawdry collection of negative , doom and gloom brigade, bandwagon/ship jumping twisted pretenders were seriously up for it at the commencement of the second period and did their part by producing the sort of atomsphere to which players are supposed to respond. Briefly we threatened, Adam Miller’s effort struck the upright – then one counter attack and lacklustre piece of defending later and it was 2-0, thank you and goodnight, please shut the door on your way out, and don’t annoy the neighbours.

From then on the atmosphere degenerated into petty squabbling and name callling (and that was just in our row of the Rainham End, so fuck knows what it was like in the rest of the ground.) The ever reliable stewards lightened the mood with a random ejection or two, and the supporters divided their energies between chants of `Stimson out!`, `Scally out!` and amusing themselves with some choice gallows humour.

There was still time for another fuckwitted piece of defending, Barry Fuller electing for the `ooh ooh linesman he’s offside, I’ve got my arm up and everything` approach, instead of CHASING AFTER THE BLOKE AND FUCKING TACKLING HIM YOU USELESS DIMWIT, which allowed Crewe to saunter through for 3-0. They could, and should have made it more, before, in a move that could only be described as bold, imaginative, daring and 75 MINUTES TOO FUCKING LATE , Simeon Jackson entered the fray and proceeded to demonstrate what it is that strikers are supposed to do. Apparently – and I say this for the benefit of Messrs Facey, Mulligan, Griffiths and Oli because I feel it may have passed them by (perhaps they were off that day in training) – it is having shots at goal. Who’d have thought it eh?

So where, you may be asking, do we go from here? You don’t really need me to answer that question do you.

Champagne Moment:- One of Crewe’s players went off injured, play restarted, and ref Joslin gestured towards that Medway Stand that he may re-enter the field of play. Which would have been fine had he not been standing on the Gordon Road touchline!

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13 Responses to Turd on a string

  1. singing_the_blues says:

    Having seen Crewe lose 0 – 2 in midweek against Port Vale I was expecting a win, even perhaps a few goals, oh how wrong I was. Seeing Bentley back in the starting line up and Thurgood returning to Grays gave me some hope. But then seeing Mulligan and Facey upfront together I really wondered why Stimson spent $150,000.00 on what now looks to be our 4th choice striker as he always seems to come on after Mulligan / Leroy. It seems the non-league manager and non-league players are dragging us down to where they belong – the BSPL. I cant even see this shower of shite gaining us promotion in League 2 next season. I don’t care what people say but we have deteriorated under Stimson. Oh how the “You’re just a fat ginger wankor” chants seemed funny at Kenilworth Road, not so funny now though!!!! I don’t think any of Stimson’s permanent signings can be seen as a success, although I think Jackson and Lewis will, I know a lot of people rate Millet and Nutter, but I’m not in the brigade who get impressed by Miller’s one good pass/run/shot per same as he spends the rest of his game losing the ball and passing to either open spaces where no one is running too or the opposition or falling over in the slightest breeze and running round like a headless chicken. Also Nutter is not any better than Armstrong, we let in numerous goals where the attack has come down the left hand side of our team, due to Nutter ineptness and Miller constantly being out of position. The less said about Oli, Griffiths, thurgood et al the better. Its embarrasing to think a 14 game loan signing will easily finish our top scorer. The only players who are currently stepping up to the plate are the proven league players – Crofts, King and Royce (Bentley when fit) – I think we could lose Crofts and King when we are relegated which would be disastrous as Stimson would try to replace them with more non-league shit!!!!!!! I don’t think the Scally out chants will achieve much, who would want to take over, a majority seemed impressed and pleased when we got Stimson and his ideas, who Scally hs backed with signings and money, blame Stimson not Scally, Scally has backed Stimson and it is Stimson who has signed his mates and is taking us down!!!! I would take iffy / jippo and their signings over Stimson and his Stevenage / Grays cronies any time, winge at that all you want but we never looked dead certs for relegation under either of those as we were still winning and scoring at home – one of the reasons we stayed in the Championship for so long.

  2. billthebikie says:

    I agree with most of the above. Going down without a doubt.I don’t buy the Crofts as being any good idea though. He’s a totally useless midfielder. Ok, he scores the odd goal and runs around sometimes, but his first touch is woeful, distribution appalling, vision non-existent, and he manifestly lacks any kind of footballing intelligence. Just like Flynn, who also gave the ball away constantly but was lionised by the arsewits on their phones for Prem scores because some of his speculative toe-punts found their way into the net through a crowd of players.Stimson is quite clearly just thick, his interviews are incoherent and cliche-ridden nonsense. But Scally is thick too,and paranoid, so this is what you get.You don’t need to be an intellectual to manage a football team, but you surely need some kind of intelligence. And we won’t get that as long as Scally reigns in his increasingly bizarre Stalinist manner. ‘We know who you are’…. He should be embarrassed.I know I am.

  3. Chris says:

    Well we are truly drinking in the last chance saloon. Personally, I will be at the Bournemouth game doing my best to support the XI on the pitch but a performance similar to Saturday’s and even I might struggle. So lets prey this week we can get a defence that can give Royce some vague protection and the strikers at least shoot. Otherwise its L2 here we come.

  4. Owain Cooke says:

    My personal champagne moment was when the drum started banging just after the first goal had gone in. Unintentional comic genius.

  5. SMF 10 says:

    Have to disagree with the comments about Crofts although the season as a whole he has been uninspiring in the last few games he has stepped up the the plate. Could even say man of the match displays (not something to celebrate looking at his colleagues) Its just a shame hardly any of his team mates seem to be anywhere near his present quality.

    I also wish Stimson would stop saying “if only we had 8 players like Adam Miller we wouldnt be in this situation.” The irony is that we DO have 8 players like Adam Miller – Non league shite!!!!

    The last throw of the dice is this weekend when we need to win, unfortunately it seems that the teams below us are not only winning at the moment but scoring plenty of goals. A performance like last weekend and we will be singing “This is embarrising” all the way to league 2. Let hope miricles are possible.

  6. PettsWoodGill says:

    I boldly predicted a very good finish to the season, thinking we would surge up the table in the last third of our games. Since the 31st match we have been disasterous. So here comes a fresh prediction and I hope I am equally accurate in my fantastic knowledge of the game and superb judgement of manager/players. We are doomed and will finish below even Bournemouth.

    Of the current squad who is good enough even to compete in this division ?

    Royce – usually fantastic (gets plenty of practice though)
    King – improving
    Bentley – OK when fit

    Jury out on:-

    Crofts – was terrible but improving at last.
    Miller – some glimmers of ability and entertainment/creativity
    Jackson – hasn’t had a proper chance yet
    Cullip – good signing but will probably be a sicknote.
    Nutter ?

    The rest – #### !!

    Saturday v Bournemouth will be like watching a car crash.

    Up the Gills

  7. glenn says:

    I missed the Simeon Jackson cameo having left in disgust, not before unleashing a torrent of abuse in the direction of all the players on the field on Saturday. (royce being the only exception although he was closest and the only one likely to have heard it). In 24 years of supporting the Gills I have never felt so disgusted by a performance and in that time I’ve seen some crap. I couldn’t even get to sleep because of the amount of pain that afternoon had caused me. The fact that this team are incapable of moving the ball from one part of the pitch to the other and create something resembling a goalscoring opportunity against a poor side like Crewe is a disgrace. Stimson has seriously underestimated what it takes to succeed at this level and has signed players who were no better than the rubbish we had already. To completely change the team middway through the season was a terrible error. We will go down and the players confidence will be destroyed and i fear some will never recover. If the experience of watching the Gills wasn’t bad enough we are also forced to endure stewarding only designed to wind us up. telling us to sit down when we are in the back row. Scally doesn’t want us to buy season tickets for the town end so he can shut it and save a buck so we get treated like scum by people who don’t have the sense to realise that they won’t have a job if he shuts it.
    Can’t wait till saturday when I believe we may have kids for a quid, any parents planning on bringing their kids should be warned the air could turn very blue and last time he did that at Port Vale the poor kids were soaked to death and they ran out of food at half time. Did Scally give a shit? did he bollox.

  8. Bring Back Les Berry says:

    The good news on the steward front is after I threatened to film their shenanigans they seem to have fucked off from the Town End.

    The game though? Utter pile of wank. To be honest, after the wins against Forest and Huddersfield I thought we needed to still concentrate on getting better and staying up, but I didn’t see this coming. We are truly fucking awful.

    Personally, I couldn’t give a fuck that Crofts has played better for the last couple of games, the lazy wanker owes us for the other 30. As for the non-league crop, they can all fuck off before they take us to where they came from.

    The class of ’92-’93 would stuff this lot, and come to think of it so would the clowns of ’88-’89 (Gavin Peacock would beat them on his own).

    Sorry, I’m still so fucking angry that the team I love and support can play like that in front of their own fans. If we lose to Bournemouth I may actually spontaneously combust.

    Scally, if you know who we are, then you are more than welcome to join us in the front right block of the Town End on Saturday – I’d love to hear your views face to face. You prick.

  9. Welshgill says:

    What else is there to be said?

    1) The continued presence of Leroy Griffiths in the first team squad (let alone the actual starting XI) has gone beyond a joke. The decision to bring on this non-league reject in preference to our £150k signing on Saturday beggared belief.

    2) Stimson’s tactics remind me of the last days of the Hessenthaler regime where there were constant changes to the first XI with very little change in the way the team actually played – this is because the players as a squad simply aren’t good enough. This despite the Gills being one of the highest spenders in the division – £200k King, £150k Jackson plus the non league signings mean we’re moving up towards £500k!!!

    3) The fact that we could still stay up despite Saturday’s ineptitude really is says it all about the quality of this division. In a league so weak there is no way we should be in the position we’re in yet through bad management, both on and off the pitch, we appear to be on our way back to League 2.

    The only consolation is that we still have games against Bournemouth, Port Vale, Millwall, Luton and Bristol Rovers to try and turn things around but time is running out…

  10. James 111 King of Surrey says:

    Now then Glenn, try and cool down. When we lose at home to Accrington next year,then you can really cut loose. It was a bit of a shambles though and definitely not worth the 160 mile round trip. Some of the responses above state that Crewe were a poor team but in all fairness they seemed to play a lot better than their league position suggests and in fact were quite capable of stepping up the pace whenever they needed to. Just after half time the Rainham End turned up the volume,Miller hit the post and I thought ..”this is it ,we’re on the way,the match is ours for the taking” but before I could even finish my smug thoughts,Alex whipped up to the other end and banged in a very smartly taken goal,game over. Thereafter,they just sat back bemused and watched as our ineffective forward line operating permantly on the wings lobbed gentle crosses into their keeper’s arms and other than a header by Crofts,the Alex defence had an untroubled afternoon.
    Simeon did at least brighten up the last few minutes with some good pot-shots but their third goal really showed what an easy time they had of it,except Kenny Lunt who nearly had his leg chopped off by Maher. I t appeared that after the red card Lunt made a miraculous recovery,so was it a bit of a con.
    Thinking hard about the trip next Sat to see Gills v Cherries, like glenn, I was so miserable after the last effort that I don’t know whether I can go thruogh it all again
    Were you ther Petts Wood Gill…You didn’t say . got to blame someone!!!!!

  11. cgills986 says:

    this really was an absolute shocker of a performance. Nobody wanted the fucking ball, and when they finally did reluctently get it, they took a mili second to give it back someone else, usually on the opposing team.
    Goals were becuase of un-profesional defending and well just crap everything.
    Have to mention the great atmosphere though. I was sitting a row infront of the frum, which proved a very good way of improving atmosphere, also the hooters and the balloons. At one point even the Medway stand was singing??
    Oh well- its still in our own hands.
    UP THE GILLS

  12. cgills986 says:

    i meant fdrum ovbiosly

  13. cgills986 says:

    agggr- i meant D-R-U-M

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