Fuckin’ Ell, it’s Fred Titmus

Tranmere Rovers, Saturday 23 November

How to get there

I’d suggest not flying, given the prevailing weather conditions. And driving might be a bit of a nightmare, being a fog-bound holiday weekend. And quite frankly if you’re going by train you probably should have left already…best of luck getting a seat….

The Ground

Set amid the gently undulating hills of the Wirrall peninsula, Prenton Park is rather pleasant. They’ve done a good job converting it to all-seater and it retains the feel of a proper ground. The cubicles in the gents play a continuous loop of “Long Haired Lover from Liverpool”.

Nickname

They are known as “Rovers”. I have no idea where this originates, maybe something to do with the name Tranmere Rovers? It’s an imaginative one, whatever the reason.

Local Attractions

Albert Dock – the first enclosed, non combustible dock system in the world, and named after a dodgy tattoo parlour where you could get the cheapest “Prince Albert” in the north-west of England

Liverpool Cathedral – the largest Anglican cathedral in Britain, and the venue where 80s Liverpool band The Christians first performed live (their hit single “Forgotten Town” was a swipe at nearby Southport)

The Supporters

Fall into two main categories – megastars from the world of rock and roll (Sir Paul McCartney, Holly Johnson, and Nigel Blackwell and Neil Crossley of Birkenhead legends Half Man Half Biscuit) and squeaky 15 year old girls with hangovers who will befriend you on Merseyrail trains to try to blag a Smirnoff Ice…

Don’t Mention

Burscough

Tranmere Hate Figures

No real ogres, though Jason McAteer is a bit of a nob and no-one really likes Gareth Taylor (as demonstrated when he was joyously red-carded at Priestfield while with Burnley a few years ago. And big eared Stuart Barlow who upset us while playing for Wigan

Who Remembers?

A 1-1 draw in 1978. I certainly don’t, though the home game was certainly eventful as Gills scored three times in the last 16 minutes to overturn a 2-0 deficit, after John Crabbe had earlier hit the bar with a penalty

Carl Asaba standing forlornly on the halfway line waiting to kick-off for the third time in the opening 8 minutes, our defence in tatters, in our first away fixture in Division One. He later scored, we narrowly lost 3-2, Tranmere were relegated and we stayed up with something to spare.

Barry Ashby’s spectacularly abrasive hack on a time-wasting home player in the above game. Barry embarked on the walk of shame to the tunnel…

BMH Prediction

Match postponed due to fog at 2.45pm. Re-arranged for January and postponed at 7.15pm due to a frozen pitch. We’ll finally lose 3-0 in February, conceding two goals in the opening four minutes. The travelling army will consist of the Binman and Guiness Gill, both of whom will claim to be “a bit upset”.

The Morty Vicker

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4 Responses to Fuckin’ Ell, it’s Fred Titmus

  1. TDT says:

    Bloody hell – two HMHB references in two articles and yet no plug for their gig in London this week! What’s happening to BMH these days? Did anyone else go to see them?

  2. Pledge says:

    Wanted to go to the gig, but couldn’t make plans due to my back surgery. Would love to have seen arguably their biggest ever London gig, but had to make do with the one we saw in Cambridge earlier in the year.

  3. P.L.E.H says:

    Go and see Jegsy Dodd…

  4. TDT says:

    I contemplated going to Cambridge, but didn’t bother – big mistake! Top night out in London though. Hopefully it won’t be another six years till they play there again.

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