Morons from outer space

Tuesday 26 Sept – Leyton Orient 3-3 Gills

After caving in shockingly at Oldham on Saturday, it was important that we got back on track at Brisbane Road, and the lads’ attitude was spot-on in earning a hard-fought point against a well-organised Ori….hold on….you stupid useless brainless FECKERS! I’m sorry, but what happened here was UNFORGIVABLE.

Orient were hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. They couldn’t kick it straight, keep hold of the ball, stand up, sit down or do anything remotely constructive. We played to our strengths – or strength – and cruised into a 3-0 lead that was unassailable. So holy mothering fuck, it is still inconceivable that we collapsed so pathetically, gifting a bloody full back a hat-trick in the last twelve minutes.

At half time everything was perfect. The lamentable home side couldn’t get near Matty Jarvis, and two well-worked goals right on half time were long in coming. Our back four were spectators, the midfield passed the ball through the tattered home ranks with ease and Flynn had the vision to pick out Jarvis in full-flight from all angles. Easton and Guy were quiet but it didn’t matter. Easy easy easy….

When Jarvis skinned their centre back and lashed in a third just after the break, I seriously thought we could go on to get four or five with a clean sheet to boot. The away end was rocking in the rickety old main stand (by far and away the least ugly construction in the redeveloped ground – what a hideous carbuncle they’ve constructed down one side, while the far end remains nothing more than a wooden hoarding) with the home side looking as shambolic on the field as their organisation was off it (when will clubs realise that a “sit where you like” policy doesn’t work when a stand is full?). The O’s faithful looked on in despair, grinning inanely and dribbling, while the happy-go-lucky dwellers of the new flats that have funded the redevelopment gazed at the one-sided proceedings from their balconies, beers in hand, probably wishing they’d chosen the Leyton High Road view rather than the pitch.

The last twelve minutes would disgrace a pub side. An idiotic rush of blood from Flinders conceded a needless penalty, and hopes of a first clean sheet were dashed as Lockwood guided home a consolation from the spot. Even then I had not a care in the world, no way would a side so devoid of talent cause us any anxious moments. Corner, defence dozing scandalously, Lockwood lashes home. Moments later and the O’s support were rightly goading us for our incompetence as the left back produced a classy finish. Our performance was sufficient to claim the easy three points that were up for grabs. The sheer terror in our ranks as we attempted to close out the final few minutes meant we deserved everything we got. You can blame Jepson for not seeing the problems unfolding and strengthening the midfield with Pouton. You can blame an obvious lack of composure throughout the side when under the slightest pressure, not helped by another inexperienced goalkeeper making all the wrong decisions. But that’s all irrelevant. If we can’t organise ourselves to beat eleven dustbins like Leyton Orient when out of sight with just minutes left, then we’ve got serious, serious problems. Jepson showed admirable restraint in not shooting the bloody lot back in the dressing room. An embarrassment.

Champagne Moment: Fuck right off.

The Morty Vicker

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5 Responses to Morons from outer space

  1. Piccalilli Shinpad says:

    Rather an understated view of last night, I think.

  2. J-Lo says:

    Do you know what the sad thing is? I did not feel any element of surprise that this happened. I suppose this is what happens after 30 years of supporting the Gills !!

    “Rocking over the world” at the end of the game and “We are the champions” playing in the pub afterwards….Super !!

    Although I did find the O’s fans that were there singing “you might as well go home” quite funny!!

  3. Richard Green's Hair says:

    You could sense the panic in the Gills team as soon as that first goal went in – and what a soft goal to concede as well. In the last 4 games Flinders has played he’s been adequate in 2 (and even then suspect in the air) and a bloody liability in the other 2 against Oldham and Leyton Orient.
    To blame Flinders for last night’s debacle is to let the rest of the team off too easily though – where were the senior players taking the battle back to Orient once that first O’s goal went in? Jupp, Cox, Flynn – where were you when we needed you?
    The second goal was school boy error – the crowd could see what was coming but Lockwood was left unmarked at the edge of the box at corner and duly yook advantage.
    We all knew what was coming after that as the flustered Gills defence failed to clear the ball and got punished for it.
    The only one to come out with any credit was Jarvis who ran the show for us – if he leaves in January we’ll be in serious trouble…

  4. Major MM says:

    I am incredulous with disbeleif at the shambles last night, not merely allowing a left-back to score an 11 minute hatrick, but at the complete and utter lack of responsibility shown by the senior players. Where we will be when Scally accepts a lump of cash for Matty, ‘eavens only knows.

  5. Elvis_t_king says:

    I’m surprised that everyone seems to be saying that we hammered them. My personal view was that the midfield weren’t required for most of the game as the ball seemed to be humped over their head most of the game. Having said that we scored our goals when the ball was played on the ground.

    I was totally miffed by the fact that Jepson didn’t make any subs on Tuesday, it was obvious that the team were flagging and either the defence or probably more importantly the defence needed strengthening. Nsungu was a waste of space Tuesday can’t understand why he wasn’t sacrificed after the penalty for Pouton to steady the ship.

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