Don’t leave me in this way

In the first Head of the season, we devoted a lot of space to pay tribute to the many departed friends who couldn’t face life in League One. Nicky Southall, Nyron Nosworthy, Paul Smith, Barry Ashby….so as the transfer window opens once again, it’s only right that we acknowledge the phenomenal contribution some of the recent departees made to the long and proud history of Gillingham Football Club:


On discussing the merits of the African Nations Cup on Five Live, Graham Taylor commented that if you’re going to sign African players then you’ve got to expect them to depart mid-season to represent their countries. On the discussing the merits League One in the office, my boss – who hails from the Highlands – commented that if you’re going to sign players from Inverness Caledonian Thistle, then you’ve got to expect them to turn up drunk for training. Which Hislop allegedly did. Twice. He also had a coat hanger in his shoulders and was a bit crap. Best of luck at Livingstone….

Finest moment in a Gills shirt: You know, I really can’t think of one


Possessed a wicked left peg for crossing. But repeatedly demonstrated an utter lack of sense or composure, making him a defensive liability. And, in my opinion, a nutjob of the highest order, a wind-up merchant intent on getting opposition players sent off and causing mayhem with niggling off the ball challenges. Mark my words – when we play Swansea he’ll haunt us for all the wrong reasons. Prick.

Finest moment in a Gills shirt: Getting all those opponents sent off? His air-kick in the last minute at Burscough? Missing a penalty against Port Vale?


A show-boating goal-keeper, capable of the odd blinding save but no command of his domain, resulting in a floundering defence with a complete lack of faith or understanding. Played his last game at Colchester, shipping five and only stopping anything once we were buried. The Bradford programme listed him as Bollock – it’s cheap but they were right.

Finest moment in a Gills shirt: Running off at Colchester just as the Gills supporters behind his goal were getting into their stride with the slightly barbed comments? The iconic flailing collapse in the mud at Burscough?


Only a youngster who’s clearly got his problems so I won’t be too harsh, but he was raw and a bit of an idiot. And a raw idiot was not the answer to our striking issues. Now at Rangers where raw idiots are much more likely to thrive. It says much for the standard of football in Scotland that our cast-offs seem capable of finding gainful employment there.

Finest moment in a Gills shirt: Shoving the linesman when he tried to disallow Byfield’s goal against Forest? Committing to a brainless challenge seconds after being booked against Yeovil?


What did he ever do for us?

The Morty Vicker

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